It's funny because I had just been thinking about how mad at God I am in my life right now. It seems as though alot of evil things have happened to me and what makes matters worse- I find no comfort in God. yet I fear that if I dont' obey Him I'll get rebuked or hurt. Either way it goes, it's really hard for me to trust that God even likes me, let alone care for my issues.I must admit I'm irritated with Him and yet I fell like I have no where else to go. I'm sorely tempted to rebel at times...
August 19, 2008
Jiva said »
I was talking to my Father about this 30 minutes before I heard the plug for this on Air1. I do get mad at God. I am right now. My Dad and I both are handicapped with something kind of like Muscular Dystrophy, ours is called CMT (Charcoal Marie Tooth) after the 3 discovering doctors. With every breath my dad takes he speaks of God or God's words. So much that it turns me away at times. He is unable to lift a single finger and might as well be paralyzed because the only thing he can use is his brain and his mouth and his heart. LITERALLY.
I have exactly the same thing but haven't got as bad as he is yet. Because cmt starts off good aventually every part of your body juast quits working as you get older, I have been able to see exactly where I am going to end up. I am mad at God for making me live like that knowing that every day I am getting closer to helplessness. I am mad at God for him allowing my dad to suffer when every word that comes out of my dads mouth is meant for God's glory.
I am mad at God for giving us the stories of healing by the thousands and tens of thousands in the bible, men being healed by simply asking one time, men being healed by simply touching jesus' robe, entire villages being healed by going to one of his sermon's. I am mad at God for knowledge that these people who asked once were healed and my father and I have spent decades asking for healing and have received none.
I am a Christian, I am saved, I am reminded of Pauls thorn in his side to which he asked healing for, and I think God said "my grace is enough"
I am mad because I do not know why God won't heal us. I try to have a possitive attitude and be cheery and full of laughter. People tell me every day what an inspiration I am because of how happy I am even though I am in a wheelchair and need help with everything.
I am mad at God because I am sick of being everyone elses blessing.
August 19, 2008
snowboy856 said »
When I think of my life, an image often comes to mind: that of someone who is on the ground, in the fetal position, getting the crap kicked out of him by a group of people; and just when things seem like they can't get any worse, the beating gets worse. Literally, out of the last 7 years of my life (ok with the exception of my wonderful marriage) I think I can count all my positive life experiences on one hand. I've had major problems in school which weren't really my fault, problems with unethical employers, and tons of financial difficulties. Ok, life isn't easy, but you know after a while of taking a beating, it's tough to keep a positive attitude.
Just today I was thinking about exactly what he described in this video. My wife and I are moving to Colorado so I can finish college, and I'm really excited. It seemed like God totally opened the door for us to move, and at first things were going ok, but now that we are preparing to move, everything is going all wrong:
* School starts next week, and we still haven't found a place to live. This is difficult... it's hard to find a place to live in Colorado without a Colorado job, and it's hard to get a Colorado job without a Colorado address.
* I am in Colorado right now for school orientation, but my hotel stay is over at the end of the week, after which I will have to find another hotel. When I booked this hotel, we thought I would be able to move into an apartment we applied for at the end of this week; only after I booked the hotel we were notified that we needed to pay significant extra deposit because we did not yet have Colorado jobs. Finding a hotel in or near Denver next week will be difficult and expensive because the Democratic National Convention starts here next week. If we can't find a place to live by the end of this week, I may be sleeping in my rent-a-car that I have to return on Monday.
* We have JUST ENOUGH money to move, but not much more. If I spend any money on this trip, we risk not having enough to move.
* Last week I found out that out-of-state students pay a flat fee for tuition of about $13,500 per semester (which I have no idea how we are going to afford.) I was planning on only taking part-time classes during the one year residency period, but so long for that idea.
* My wife received responses back from all the companies she sent her resume to saying they are not hiring right now. I was hoping that I would not have to work this semester so I could focus on my studies. (My wife suggested this because I have worked full time each semester I have been in college so far, and my grades suffered.) If my wife cannot get a job, then it looks like I may have to.
It totally looked like God opened the door for us to move, but now that we went through the door, we find ourselves in a corridor full of locked doors. This is really frustrating, and it's just the latest episode in the last 7 years of my life. No matter how much I pray, it seems like nothing is happening to fix this, which is stressful because it needs to be fixed really soon! I'm really trying hard to be faithful, but the situation looks bleaker each day! Please pray for us!
Sometimes I get so upset with God, thinking to myself “This is just another stupid thing that *seems* to happen in my life only and no one else's! Come on God, the beating has been going on for 7 years, can it stop now?” It makes me angry some times that other people seem to have it so easy, but I have stupid situations like this all the time. I wonder what God is trying to teach me? I'll tell you one thing, stuff like this just makes me more excited for heaven when I won't have to deal with this kind of stuff anymore.
Comments
misskish85 said »
It's funny because I had just been thinking about how mad at God I am in my life right now. It seems as though alot of evil things have happened to me and what makes matters worse- I find no comfort in God. yet I fear that if I dont' obey Him I'll get rebuked or hurt. Either way it goes, it's really hard for me to trust that God even likes me, let alone care for my issues.I must admit I'm irritated with Him and yet I fell like I have no where else to go. I'm sorely tempted to rebel at times...
August 19, 2008
Jiva said »
I was talking to my Father about this 30 minutes before I heard the plug for this on Air1. I do get mad at God. I am right now. My Dad and I both are handicapped with something kind of like Muscular Dystrophy, ours is called CMT (Charcoal Marie Tooth) after the 3 discovering doctors. With every breath my dad takes he speaks of God or God's words. So much that it turns me away at times. He is unable to lift a single finger and might as well be paralyzed because the only thing he can use is his brain and his mouth and his heart. LITERALLY.
I have exactly the same thing but haven't got as bad as he is yet. Because cmt starts off good aventually every part of your body juast quits working as you get older, I have been able to see exactly where I am going to end up. I am mad at God for making me live like that knowing that every day I am getting closer to helplessness. I am mad at God for him allowing my dad to suffer when every word that comes out of my dads mouth is meant for God's glory.
I am mad at God for giving us the stories of healing by the thousands and tens of thousands in the bible, men being healed by simply asking one time, men being healed by simply touching jesus' robe, entire villages being healed by going to one of his sermon's. I am mad at God for knowledge that these people who asked once were healed and my father and I have spent decades asking for healing and have received none.
I am a Christian, I am saved, I am reminded of Pauls thorn in his side to which he asked healing for, and I think God said "my grace is enough"
I am mad because I do not know why God won't heal us. I try to have a possitive attitude and be cheery and full of laughter. People tell me every day what an inspiration I am because of how happy I am even though I am in a wheelchair and need help with everything.
I am mad at God because I am sick of being everyone elses blessing.
August 19, 2008
snowboy856 said »
When I think of my life, an image often comes to mind: that of someone who is on the ground, in the fetal position, getting the crap kicked out of him by a group of people; and just when things seem like they can't get any worse, the beating gets worse. Literally, out of the last 7 years of my life (ok with the exception of my wonderful marriage) I think I can count all my positive life experiences on one hand. I've had major problems in school which weren't really my fault, problems with unethical employers, and tons of financial difficulties. Ok, life isn't easy, but you know after a while of taking a beating, it's tough to keep a positive attitude.
Just today I was thinking about exactly what he described in this video. My wife and I are moving to Colorado so I can finish college, and I'm really excited. It seemed like God totally opened the door for us to move, and at first things were going ok, but now that we are preparing to move, everything is going all wrong:
* School starts next week, and we still haven't found a place to live. This is difficult... it's hard to find a place to live in Colorado without a Colorado job, and it's hard to get a Colorado job without a Colorado address.
* I am in Colorado right now for school orientation, but my hotel stay is over at the end of the week, after which I will have to find another hotel. When I booked this hotel, we thought I would be able to move into an apartment we applied for at the end of this week; only after I booked the hotel we were notified that we needed to pay significant extra deposit because we did not yet have Colorado jobs. Finding a hotel in or near Denver next week will be difficult and expensive because the Democratic National Convention starts here next week. If we can't find a place to live by the end of this week, I may be sleeping in my rent-a-car that I have to return on Monday.
* We have JUST ENOUGH money to move, but not much more. If I spend any money on this trip, we risk not having enough to move.
* Last week I found out that out-of-state students pay a flat fee for tuition of about $13,500 per semester (which I have no idea how we are going to afford.) I was planning on only taking part-time classes during the one year residency period, but so long for that idea.
* My wife received responses back from all the companies she sent her resume to saying they are not hiring right now. I was hoping that I would not have to work this semester so I could focus on my studies. (My wife suggested this because I have worked full time each semester I have been in college so far, and my grades suffered.) If my wife cannot get a job, then it looks like I may have to.
It totally looked like God opened the door for us to move, but now that we went through the door, we find ourselves in a corridor full of locked doors. This is really frustrating, and it's just the latest episode in the last 7 years of my life. No matter how much I pray, it seems like nothing is happening to fix this, which is stressful because it needs to be fixed really soon! I'm really trying hard to be faithful, but the situation looks bleaker each day! Please pray for us!
Sometimes I get so upset with God, thinking to myself “This is just another stupid thing that *seems* to happen in my life only and no one else's! Come on God, the beating has been going on for 7 years, can it stop now?” It makes me angry some times that other people seem to have it so easy, but I have stupid situations like this all the time. I wonder what God is trying to teach me? I'll tell you one thing, stuff like this just makes me more excited for heaven when I won't have to deal with this kind of stuff anymore.
August 19, 2008